Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

What was your worst experience while living with roommates?

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

Can I study a master’s in travel and tourism in Sweden within a budget of 5 lakhs INR?

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I know who the president of Turkey really is

Will friendly dogs protect their owners?

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

How do you handle family members who ask for handouts?

I understand how hurricane paths work

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

Is it ok to be spanked by your parents if you are not in bed in your set bedtime?

I can count

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I have complete contempt for traitorism

How long can someone with narcissistic tendencies maintain a facade of fake love before their true self is revealed? Is there a specific trigger or amount of time that causes them to reveal their true nature?

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

Can we see your heels?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

Why am I not getting any atheists to debate with? Are they scared?

I don’t buy bullshit

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

Sean Combs Trial: Possible Juror Dismissal and Mogul’s ‘Threatening’ Voice Notes - Rolling Stone

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

Do you suck dicks with no reciprocation?

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I actually pay taxes

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

What is the reason behind the Russian government's negative view on foreign travel?

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I have a reading level above third grade

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

Why is it difficult to get a job?

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I can read

Taking five minutes a day to do this can improve happiness, study finds - San Francisco Chronicle

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

How likely is it to make a living out of being a window cleaner in a Nordic country?

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

New Pluto-Like Planet Discovered In Solar System — What To Know - Forbes

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I see through liars